Fruit Baskets, Straight Jackets, Italian Vampires…
by Janie3
Summary: Damon and Stefan in an institution for recovery after the fruit war the had in Damon's house (see our story The Orange and Banana War). Locked in and with a basket of fruit...well, let's just say things can get a bit odd....


Title: Fruit Baskets, Straight Jackets, Italian Vampires… You Figure It Out  
  
Author: Bunny and Janie  
  
E-mail: SwtAzSugar46@aol.com or Puppyluv@ftgcorp.com  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Warnings: Minor swearing and violence  
  
Spoilers: VD (1-4) and our fanfic The Orange and Bananna War  
  
Disclaimers: Disclaimer 1: We don't own Stefan, Damon, Elena, or Bonnie. They belong to LJ Smith (Vampire Diaries)  
  
Disclaimer 2: We don't own the song "Brother for Sale". That belongs to the Olsen Twins. Do not sue us. We are broke from going to WaWa for French Vanilla.  
  
Summary: Dum dum DUM!!!!!!!!!! This is a sorta sequel to "The Orange and Banana War". Sorta… yeah… a sequel! A SEQUEL! You MIGHT want to read that first, or at least get REALLY hyper. We might be on sugar. Rated XS- for extreme sugar (needed to understand). Damon and Stefan in an institution for recovery after the fruit war they had in Damon's house....locked in and alone with a basket of fruit, well, let's just say things can get a little odd....  
  
Comments: We're back! (And enjoy!) That's all we have to say…  
  
@--}  
  
  
  
"This is all your fault!" Stefan sniffled. He leaned against the soft, padded wall, arms constricted due to the straight jacket.  
  
"WAS NOT! It's not MY fault I'm a manic depressive as well as psychotic and schizophrenic. "Look at the mess we're in! It's not MY fault I have control issues! It's not even SANITARY in here! And you know my OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISSORDER!" cried Damon.  
  
"You don't have OCD! You're just a homicidal maniac…or just my brother…" Stefan yelled.  
  
"You don't know what you're talking about! I'm going to peel an orange!" Damon huffed, dragging his butt across the dirty floor towards Bonnie's gift fruit basket.  
  
"How?"  
  
"I don't know, I'll figure it out!" Damon said, not understanding why he was still yelling and unable to move his arms. (but WE know why… he's in a straight jacket. Hint hint, wink wink…)  
  
"Dude! How can you peel an orange without your freaking teeth?"  
  
"My Powers," Damon said mysteriously.  
  
"Oh…" Stefan said in awe.  
  
"OHMMMMM…" Damon chanted, (hummed?) to himself.  
  
The orange shook violently before bursting into orange juice and pulp.  
  
"Look what you did now, Damon!"  
  
"Damn it! I want to peel my orange!" he screamed. "NOW WHAT?!"  
  
He sat there, contemplating which seemed to be hurting his poor brain. His brows furrowed and he pouted. Then he grinned. "I have teeth! See?" He opened his mouth, clamping down again and again. He pointed to his lengthened canine teeth with his finger, quite happily.  
  
(Somehow… he's Damon he can do anything!) he got up and (attempted) to skip around, instead falling flat on his face! Stefan giggled!  
  
"Haaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" then he couldn't breathe. He passed out. Damon rolled over.  
  
"Stefan?" (Magically *cue angelic singing*) he got out of his straight jacket and went to the fruit basket. Selecting grapes he grinned.  
  
"Hehehe, oh brother…" he caroled. He then proceeded to stick them up Stefan's nostrils. A moment later Stefan sat up gasping, the grapes flung out of his nose, hitting Damon in the eyes.  
  
"OWWWWW" he bellowed. "Idiot! Idiot!"  
  
Stefan pouted. "Hey! How come YOU get to get out?"  
  
"Because I'm better than you!" "NOOOOOOOOOOO! Where's my medication?"  
  
"Right here dear brother!" He pulled a needle full of Novocain. Sticking it his brother's (no, not butt) arm.  
  
"Ohhh….I feel tipsy! Tipsy, tipsy, Stefan! Whooo Weee! The world goes SPINNY! And Stefan goes BOOM!"  
  
Damon quirked a brow as his brother spun and fell to the floor.  
  
"Stefan? Get up."  
  
"No. I like it here," he answered. "It's so pretty! So….fresh?!"  
  
"YOU REALIZE WE'RE STUCK HERE?! THANKS TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"  
  
"Hey you wanted her too!"  
  
"No I didn't! I just wanted to ruin your life!"  
  
"Well I don't want her anymore!"  
  
"Well in that case….I'll have her…._tonight_."  
  
"NO!!!!!! She's MINE! And besides your stuck here too! She'd never go for a guy like you!"  
  
"What's THAT supposed to mean?! Snot face!"  
  
"N-n-nothing…." Stefan whined.  
  
"THAT'S IT! NO MORE MR. NICE BLOOD-SUCKING DEMON!" He roared, pulling out (from thin air....or his boot?) a "machine gun" (otherwise known as a paintball gun; the machine gun was confiscated by the guard at the front gate).  
  
Filling it with grapes, Damon began shooting Stefan.  
  
"NO! Not again! Elena save meeeeee!" he screamed, clawing at the walls (which did nothing, much to his disdain). "HEEEEEELP!"  
  
"Yes, yes again! And Elena won't save you now. You pathetic excuse for my brother! I'm trading you in! Brother for sale! Only 50 cents!"  
  
"You can't do that! We have the same blood! Besides the Olsen Twins will sue!"  
  
"Eh, they can't do anything to us. They'll just sue Bunny and Janie who are broke from going to WaWa for French Vanilla."  
  
"Uh…oh yeah. Oh WELL!"  
  
"Boys? It's time for your medicine!" called a nurse.  
  
"But I all ready took mine!" Stefan called.  
  
"Damon! The NOVACAINE _again_?!" she yelled.  
  
Damon was busy checking her out. "Look into my eyes," he said, "you're madly in love with me. You want to take me out for a café latte…or a nice mocha. Or a bloody Mary…"  
  
"Yes…Whatever you say…" the nurse was captivated by his Power.  
  
"Ahahahaha I'm getting out!"  
  
The nurse locked poor Stefan in all alone.  
  
"NOOOO! Damon! Come back to me! ELENA!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Another nurse walked by, looking in through the door's window. "Stefan?!" she cried.  
  
"Elena, is that you?" Stefan asked.  
  
"Um… no… it's the Easter Bunny… really… uh… bye…"  
  
And with that, Stefan began to cry. __________________________________________________________________  
  
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!  
  
You know you need help when you:  
  
understand the story.  
  
laugh as much as we did.  
  
can relate this to your own life.  
  
know psycho vamps who happen to be extremely nice to look at.  
  
have actually drugged your younger brother with Novocain.  
  
know what Bagel Chooms are and still eat them.  
  
are seen in public OR private places with either of us.  
  
think that Damon and Stefan (from our story) seem like the kinda guys you would introduce to your parents  
  
would like to meet Bunny or Janie.  
  
continuously yell at your keyboard for not typing the right letter.  
  
believe that the keyboard is purposely trying to ignore you.  
  
can listen to Janie complain that she's hungry and not go insane!  
  
are up to "m" and are still reading.  
  
see the "o)" as a Cyclops.  
  
eat 30 packets of sugar at a friend's party.  
  
wave at random cars and yell when they don't honk or wave.  
  
ask a NY street vendor to give you a free orange juice and get it.  
  
try and sniff coke but get the ice cubes stuck up your nose.  
  
enjoy the meaningless ramblings of Bunny and Janie.  
  
march around outside Bunny/Janie's house with signs reading "I LOVE BAGEL CHOOMS!"  
  
actually have Damon stashed away in your closet for your own purposes…  
  
find a watch that you never lost.  
  
are searching for something and are staring at it for ten minutes before you realize it's right there. Janie has done this.  
  
have enough hair to pull off the "Odango Atama look" or Sailor Moon.  
  
request a bathroom break for two. (you and Hottie Damon)  
  
z) know Princess Honatootoo. 


End file.
